BE WILLED

Philippines has been considered as one of the countries where most beautiful women reside. Last year (2013), the world has seen how talented and beautiful Filipinas are after winning the titles in major international beauty pageants. Their natural elegance, strong qualities and character make them very attractive not only to fellow Filipino men but also to foreigners around the world.

Pinays in a relationship with or married to foreigners are now very common in the country. Their numbers are increasing especially now that internet and social media is becoming accessible to everyone. Yahoo mail or messenger, facebook and skype are just one of the common internet channels used by Filipinas living in Philippines to meet men from other countries.

Aside from finding a person they can be with to build a family , many Filipino women finds marrying a foreigner a way to get out of poverty. That's the common thinking of every Filipino. White men are rich. So everytime you see them with their partners in malls, public transpos, tourist places, or even in your neighborhood you might have these words running out in your mind, "Isa na namang pinay ang aangat ang buhay". (Another life of a Filipina will get well off). To be honest, I had these words coming out directly from my mouth when I was in the Philippines. I was thinking that these women are lucky. Having exotic beauty as their capital, they are able to enjoy the wealth of these foreign men, getting the foreign citizenship, living the happy ever after life of a princess or queen.

Last year, I flew to Ireland and met Filipinas who are married or in a relationship with Irish and other white men. Some of them met their partners through internet when they were in Philippines, while others knew their other half while working in Ireland. I have learned and realized a lot after getting to know these people, their lives and their relationships.

Cinderella's rags to riches story of Filipinas in a relationship meeting a foreigner really exists. But this is a rare case. Most Filipinas still have to work to live after marrying foreigners. This is the reality. Not all foreigners are actually rich in their country. They don't all work in the office. Some of them have to work outside in a lower type of jobs.  The foreign husbands' salary is most of the time not their wives' money. They own it. So their Filipino wives' have to find a job to share with house rent, utilities and food. They can't touch their husband's money and give it to the families they left in the Philippines. They still have to work hard, like a typical overseas filipino worker, to earn and feed their parents and siblings.

Having known this, I believed that we should not underestimate these Pinays who have chosen foreign men instead of fellow Pinoys. Yes, all they wanted is to have a better life. They are intelligent enough to use the opportunity of meeting foreigners in finding a well off life. But more than these, they are courageous, they are brave to leave the country and their families, and to have a relationship with a man raised in another culture who might misunderstood and abuse them. We should respect and understand them. Remember that most of them are not living a fairy tale. They are living in a real world like us.